Nativity Catholic Church
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Talking Ourselves Into Things
A "FIRESTARTER" Spiritual Essay by Rev.
Dr. Benjamin
Berinti, C.Pp.S. From the first time any of us ever read the children’s story, The Little Engine That Could, we’ve all had moments in our lives where the only way we ever thought we could accomplish something, or to see something for which we hoped and desired come true was simply by talking ourselves into it…I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Often in the face of the most daunting odds or outlandish demands, we have had to convince ourselves that something was possible. Despite the people and circumstances that often try to talk us out of things, we continue to talk ourselves into things. Some might see this as the bedrock of human imagining, the indomitable spirit resting within human persons—and yet others might see this “talk” as nothing more than human folly or delusion. Either way, it is quite useful! As Jan L. Richardson wrote, “I must admit, I have sometimes lived for months on a good delusion. It will never do for staple food, but sometimes it gets me by.” I’ve been known to “get by” on a good delusion myself every so often. When I was assigned to begin my priestly ministry as Chaplain, Campus Minister and professor at St. Joseph’s College, I was returning to the very same classrooms in which I had sat, only a few years beforehand, but now I was going to be on the “other side” of the desk. At first, the task was a troubling one. How could I possibly now be a “colleague” with the professors who instructed me only a few short years ago? How could I lead the same college campus as pastor where I was the one being lead not long before? I was able to do it by “talking myself into it,” by convincing myself of the possibility, and by keeping the vision of what could be ahead of me. When presiding at Sunday Eucharist, and I gaze out upon the myriad faces and dispositions scattered throughout the pews, I have talked myself into believing that every single person in the assembly is thrilled to be there, excited about the great gift of Jesus’ Body and Blood we are privileged to receive, and anxious to get back into the world to proclaim “good news.” Despite the obvious fact that this “vision” is not true, despite my seeing people exiting before the sharing of Communion, despite the sometimes lackluster energy exhibited in song and prayer, I talk myself into believing in the vision. If I did not, then I would find myself less enthusiastic, less awed and graced, less committed to presiding over the Eucharistic assembly. If it were not for the “talking myself into believing,” then each Eucharist would be in danger of becoming engulfed by the lackluster minimalism that is obviously present in some people’s behavior. Every so often, someone says something to me akin to this: “I marvel at your words when you preach or teach. You sound so convinced of what you proclaim. I wish I believed as strongly as you must believe!” While touched by the compliment, I quickly tell people that I’m not always as convinced as I might sound! And I am certainly not as “all together” in my own life’s journey as I may seem when I’m reflecting upon and proclaiming the Word of God! At first, this seems a little disappointing to the questioner, but in a few moments, my remarks actually become more encouraging for them. In other words, we all may not live up to what we say and proclaim (we are always working toward that goal), but it doesn’t mean that we cannot touch another person’s life just because of our own weaknesses or failures. Many times, I need to hear the good news proclaimed, and I need to have the vision set before me, just as much as the person in the pew. I do believe in the power of the Word to change my life and the lives of all believers, even when I cannot live that Word to the fullest extent. Sometimes, I need to “talk myself into” the vision that God sets before us. The examples from my life, and I am certain from your own, abound! It is true that sometimes our “delusions,” which we may keep going for a long time, may in fact harm us, or at least be unhealthy for us. But even then, once we are awakened to some hard truth to swallow, we may be the better after having been able to “grow into” our new and challenging insights. While not always the best way to live life or to make the most important decisions, as Jan Richardson says, talking ourselves into things sometimes “gets us by”—and often, that’s the best we can do! Central to living our faith, I believe, is the skill of “talking ourselves into things.” Perhaps without even recognizing it, this is what we have been doing throughout the Season of Advent. As the beautiful words of the prophet’s Isaiah and Zephaniah have been set before us each week, as we have listened and taken to heart their visions of God’s peace, justice, equality, fruitfulness, integrity, forgiveness, welcome, and so many other wonderful gifts, we have not had to look far in order to see that these gifts have yet to come to full blossom in our time. In fact, we face quite the opposite of these gifts, and we know their lack better than we know their presence. Still, we keep proclaiming the vision, we keep setting out the true desires of God for humanity, we keep “playing kingdom” in spite of the contrary values the world keeps thrusting upon us. We know that “a bloom shall spring from the stump of Jesse,” we know that Christ has entered the realm of humanity forever, and yet we struggle with a “tree” not quite as lush and luxuriant as we may desire. In her Advent meditations, Night Visions, Jan L. Richardson speaks about hope, and offers a telling insight about it: Hope
becomes easier to recognize when we learn that it rarely Richardson digs to the bottom of hope, and presents us with a challenge, the challenge of this Season of Advent-Christmas: to be filled with the true HOPE of this miraculous, on-going event, of God-With-Us, we must continue to speak about what we do not yet see, to thrust forth the vision of what is yet to come in the fullness of time, to talk ourselves into believing and acting in ways that manifest the grace that God has poured into our world with the birth of Jesus Christ! We must proclaim our deepest longings, and our experiences that already manifest the work of God among us, so that we can become more engaged in bringing God’s Kingdom to reality. If we fail to talk ourselves into these things, then they will never have a chance of seeing the Light shining through our darkness. Again, let us turn to Jan Richardson, as she meditates on the great model of faith we have in Mary, the Mother of God. Perhaps more than any other disciple, Mary knew how to “talk herself” into many things. In a way, perhaps that’s what the evangelist Luke meant when he tells us, “Mary pondered these things in her heart (2:51).” Mary knows that some things are so outrageous that sometimes we have to talk about them as if they have already happened in order to believe they could ever come about (64). May these days of Advent longing-turned to Christmas joy, find us all talking ourselves into the marvelous things that God is doing for us!
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