Nativity Catholic Church
|
|
An Open Invitation to "Stare"
A "FIRESTARTER"
Spiritual Essay by Rev. Dr. Benjamin Berinti, C.Pp.S. Have you ever been busted “staring”? Not the kind where you are simply spaced out and looking at no one and no thing in particular. I mean caught in the act of definitely looking, with incredible focus and rapt attention at someone or something. If you have, I suspect your initial response is embarrassment or humiliation. Those of us who are quick on our feet (or should I say, quick with our eyes) may rapidly divert our gaze or muddle through some attempt to demonstrate that we were not staring at all. It seems that one of those early “life lessons” that gets thrust upon us (along with “eat your spinach and be like Popeye”) is “Don't stare - it's not polite!” I’m not sure why we assign such immoral dread to something that is, quite frankly, incredibly natural, and perhaps holds a key to touching something deep within us. When we stare at someone or something, it usually means we are giving what is being “observed” our fullest attention. Maybe that’s what makes the whole thing discomforting. We are increasingly becoming accustomed to ignoring much of what happens around us, bidding little real attention to life as it unfolds, so perhaps these moments spent in utter attention and connection somehow seem “unnatural.” During my years living in Chicago, there was an unwritten, though highly practiced, rule about exchanging eye contact with people on the streets of the city. I lived much of my time in Hyde Park, an area of the city, near the University of Chicago, that is known for its great cultural institutions, its dynamic urban life, and an incredible diversity of people. In fact, the local Catholic parish, St. Thomas the Apostle, had for many years proclaimed as their parish motto: “God’s People In Extra-Ordinary Variety!” One would think that in such a percolating metropolis, famous for its culture and learning, that “connecting” with other people would be a highly prized and promoted value. Alas, exchanging eye contact while toddling along the sidewalks of the city was verboten, and was seen as a sure invitation to trouble. Yet, in such a menagerie of humanity, one couldn’t help but stare. There was so much to take in amidst this vast sea of people and creative human energy. Flannery O’Connor, the great American Catholic novelist, in a piece addressed to writers, says something applicable to all of us: “The writer should never be ashamed of staring. There is nothing that doesn’t require his attention.” O’Connor’s advise to writers, that they keep their eyes and hearts open to the world around them, is worthy advise for everyone, especially followers of Christ, who are sons and daughters of the Creator of the Universe. Contemplation, a major practice of the spiritual life, has at its heart, fixing one’s attention on created gifts of God, so to be drawn up into paying a deeper attention to the Creator. Contemplation, appreciation, gratitude, and thanksgiving for God’s creation—whether human or otherwise—begins by staring, but focusing deeply and penetratingly upon what God has wrought. If we spend most of our life turning away from what fascinates us, or worse yet, simply skimming over the top of creation like dragonflies skittering above the water, we will never reach the depth of soulful living to which God invites us. What truly seems then to be “impolite” is ignoring the multiple opportunities we are given each day to stop, to stare, and to relish the beauty that God is creating as God splashes God’s brush against the canvas of our world. One of the great gifts that creative people bring to us, whether in poetry, prose, music, paint, marble, or in a host of other ways, is the gift of freezing us in our normally distracted and discombobulated meanderings, and allowing us to pay attention, to focus, to center in on someone or something of beauty or challenge. Artists take the time to stop and stare at what life offers up, whether it be energizing or debilitating, and then set out to lure us, the unobservant ones, into what they see. They set out to lure us into contemplation. Many people never seem to reach a satisfying connection in their relationship with God, Jesus and the Church, the living presence of Christ drawn together in the Holy Spirit—a real depth in their spiritual life—because there’s no time for staring, for truly observing the work of the Spirit within and around them. No wonder we use the phrase, “to pay attention”—staring, observing, connecting, and being aware all cost us considerably. There is a price we pay for living with depth to our lives. Despite what our parents and teachers have preached since an early age, perhaps one of the cardinal rules of the spiritual life should be: Stop and stare as often as possible - God finds it impolite if we don't!
|
